To Fly or not to Fly..

I'm what you might call a "frequent flyer". And that's putting it mildly. These last few months i've been boarding planes like average Joe gets the bus... What troubles me is that rather than feel more at ease with the whole concept of floating in mid-air: the more airmiles I collect, the more vivid the reality that accidents do happen.

For instance, in the past three months alone, two pilots failed to land the plane the first time around. I can't remember the technical term for it, but in a nutshell, just before the wheels hit the tarmac, the plane takes off again. The deafening silence that follows is what gets me. Is an immediate announcement really too much to ask? It would certainly spare me the 15mins of anguish, "flash forwards" and "worst case" scenarios...

The first time (once grounded), the pilot apologized for the "incident" revealing that he was too close to another plane. Why was it only apparent in the last minute? Isn't there a control tower in the vicinity paying attention?

The second time happened just a couple of hours ago on an Aerlingus flight back from Cork. Once again i was grinding my teeth trying to preempt the inevitable whip lash experience of most landings, when a sudden jolt was followed by a re-escalation into the night. It all feels very dramatic at the time and once again, silence ensues... This time there was a change in wind which made it too dangerous to land, consequently they closed that particular runway. The fact that this all happened in the last minute, I find slightly disturbing: obviously there is no way of anticipating such a slight change of circumstance... And God knows you can't trust the weather channel...

I used to only worry at take offs and landings. Lately i find myself superstitious over things I say before the flight and during. Even certain thoughts are off limits. Two weeks ago, on my way back from Cannes, this boy queuing behind me (boarding group B as always, no matter what time i get there!) was going on and on about how "you have more chance of dying in a car crash than on a plane". And all I could think was: "famous last words....".

My worst experience was on an Aerarann flight from Luton to Waterford; one of those mini propellor planes (whatever they're called). Two thirds of the way through, the pilot announced our return to Luton. There was a malfunction with the wheels: he didn't know if they were out or in, or just partially out. Luton was better equipped to deal with a potential crash. Needless to say, i was petrified and in total ignorance asked (nobody in particular) "how can they not know if the wheels are fully out?". thank God for the englishman beside me who said in a heavy East London dialect: "Well what's he gonna do?... look out the bloody window?". At least that turned my fear into hysteria, and the landing sequence went by in a breeze.

I hope i haven't created an epidemic of aviatophobia, but they say its best to share your fears... To be honest though, I'd be happy just to pass mine on...

What frightens you?